Pets as surrogate children?
A common explanation of DINK families with pets is that the animals they raise serve as surrogate children for them, by giving owners the sense of emotional bond parents share with their children, without needing to make as much of a commitment.
A woman using the name Xiaoyu Shanshan on Sina Weibo was cited as an example in a Nanjing Morning Post report in 2012 as someone who confessed following such a logic.
Xiaoyu Shanshan's Weibo nickname comes from the epithets she has given her two poodles, and her account is full of pictures of the two pets, dressed in different "costumes" and with their fur arranged into different "hairstyles."
She describes the two poodles in the article as her "son" and "daughter," and told the newspaper that she spends "thousands of yuan" on them each month.
"[My husband and I] have such a good relationship with our babies [her pets]," said Xiaoyu Shanshan. "We have decided to take care of them for their entire lives, instead of having children."
Nevertheless, Xiaoyu Shanshan admitted that she faced tremendous pressure from her parents, friends and colleagues to have children of their own.
"We have moments where we waver [on our decision to not have children]," said Xiaoyu Shanshan. "But we have two poodles and three chinchillas, and if I got pregnant, I might have to send my little babies [the pets] to others. I can't bear the thought!"
Xiaoyu Shanshan declined an interview request from Metropolitan to talk about her more recent situation.
Psychologist Zhu Jianjun said in Chinese medical journal Psychologies that for some pet owners, their animals served a similar function to having children.
"Pets are innocent and behave instinctively, according to their feelings, just like little kids," said Zhu. "More importantly, pets, like kids, are wholly dependent on their caregivers."
Drawing the line
However, Li Wei, a 41-year-old worker with the Capital Animal Welfare Association in Beijing who has nine cats, one dog, and no children, rejected the claim that pets always served as surrogate children for their owners.
"I like pets, but I don't think I could take good care of children," said Li, who raises her feline and canine friends with her husband, who she married eight years ago. "The reason I raise pets is not to substitute the role of children - I had pets before I got married as well."
She worried that people will simply think those are all people who use pets to substitute children.
She said that DINK families with pets faced a lot of criticism and social pressure. "People, especially among the older generation, will get angry if they think we are devoting the love meant for our children to our pets, and that it was because of owning pets that we don't want children anymore," Li said. "In fact, most of the DINK families with pets that I know decide to raise a pet out of a sense of benevolence, not because they want to experience the feeling of being a parent without the hassles."
As dogs and cats don't normally live past their teens, Li upholds the belief that if she can be good to pets when they are alive, it won't be too hard to let them go.
But the facts that people who devote too much attention to pets and see them as "kids" and that some are reportedly using the trolly to carry pets and even sleep with them have made psychologists worry about the possibility that people in DINK families with pets may develop the pets-dependence syndrome.
Song Zhenzhu, a psychologist who specializes in depression at the No.1 Mental Hospital in Qiqihar, Heilongjiang Province, said that those who prefer to spend time with pets rather than real people could suffer from strong anxiety, uncertainty and even feel their life is meaningless when their pets die. And the pets-dependence syndrome will influence their socializing ability and adaptation ability in the society.
"Although I treat my dog like my 'baby,' I keep in mind that Kehe is not a baby like a human baby," said Feng.
Planning ahead
Feng has already had a plan in his head for his life and pets. He tries to think rationally about the fact that Kehe will only accompany them for more than a decade.
Feng and his wife have reached an agreement that they will be at their son's side as long as he is alive, even though this means the sacrifice of long trips and traveling.
"It is not easy to take Kehe to travel around the world. So we decided that after Kehe passed, we would start our travel around the world, to experience the colorful and diverse world," said Feng.
