According to a 2013 survey of LGBT people conducted by Aibai Culture & Education Center in Beijing, 93 percent of the 2,161 respondents said they were not fully out in their workplace, because they feared discrimination or a negative impact on their careers. Respondents who worked for the government or State-owned enterprises expressed a greater degree of concern than those in private and multinational companies.
However, as a sign of the changing times, the first annual China LGBT Talent Job Fair was held in Shanghai in April, and attracted 17 companies and 400 Chinese job-seekers.
Familymatters
While Chinese LGBT people are increasingly prepared to come out to their friends and even colleagues, they find it much harder to tell their parents, especially given that most of them are the only child of the family and are expected to continue the bloodline.
Born into a Chinese-Malaysian family in Penang, Malaysia, Raymond Phang, 24, has been in a relationship with Shanghai native Ariel (not his real name) for four years. Whenever he travels back to Malaysia, Phang brings gifts for his boyfriend's parents, but neither man has come out to their families. "They might have already sensed what's going on between us, but I don't think it's necessary to speak to them about it and make them face it directly," Ariel said.
Jack Smith, from the United Kingdom, and his Chinese husband, Eddy (not his real name), met online in 2009, when Smith was studying in Beijing and Eddy was at college in the UK.
Last year, they tied the knot in the northern English city of York, Smith's hometown. The ceremony was attended by Eddy's parents and one of his cousins, plus more than 100 friends and well-wishers.
"The fact that his parents were there meant so much to us. They (the two sets of parents) didn't speak the same language, but they seemed to get along well and laughed a lot," Smith said.
Although they travel to Eddy's small hometown to visit his parents every two months, the couple has not yet come out to the whole family, and he is still concerned that being openly gay in public and the media could result in "unnecessary annoyance" for his parents.
Planning to move on
Sarah (not her real name), from South Korea, and her 26-year-old fiancee, Amber, from Shanghai feel equally blessed, mainly because of the attitude shown by Amber's family. Sarah came out to her parents five years ago, shortly after meeting Amber at the University of Michigan where they were both students. Sarah's parents found it difficult to accept their daughter's sexuality, but that wasn't the case with Amber's relatives, who have always been very supportive.
"Even her grandma knows about us and has no problem. It's really a fairytale. Sometimes I joke about what a freak family she has," Sarah said with a laugh.
When the couple moved to Shanghai from the US two years ago, Amber's employer, Unilever, covered Sarah's travel and relocation costs, even though they are not legally married. Sarah said she finds Shanghai very interesting and friendly, but she and Amber are planning to move to London in October because they want to "live in a place where gay marriage is legal and the relationship can be protected by law".
According to a recent survey conducted by the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association in 51 countries, 38 percent of Chinese respondents were in favor of same-sex marriage, while 34 percent were opposed.
"I hope and believe China will be one of the first countries in Asia to get there (legalize same-sex marriage)," Sarah said.
Some expat LGBT people have been at the forefront of moves to make that happen and build a more welcoming and friendly society for sexual minorities.
When ShanghaiPRIDE was born six years ago, six of the eight founders of the annual LGBT festival that celebrates sexual diversity were expats. "I told myself, I had to do this for at least two years. Then I thought 'let's make it five years'. It's now already the seventh year. I'm glad I was there at the very beginning," said one of the original organizers, Charlene Liu from Malaysia.
This year, the festival will be held from June 5 to 21, and will feature a wide range of events including bike rides, film screenings, networking events for female business professionals, panel discussions and parties.
"You know what the theme for this year is? 'Love is our future'," Liu said, revealing that she will marry her Chinese girlfriend in Hawaii in September. "Her mum loves me. There were so many years when I couldn't accept myself. People should accept themselves first. They shouldn't feel that they don't belong."
Leonelli, the former LGBT center volunteer, said he's been pleased by the rise in the number of reports about LGBT people in China, and by their tenor.
"At the end of the day, no matter whether we are Chinese or American, we have similar dreams and hopes. We want to be happy, we want to be able to express ourselves, we want to have families, and we want to live without fear of discrimination."
