Nic Lee, a 31-year-old Chinese, is still single. Almost all of his friends and colleagues have "tied the knot" and his family is urging him to find a girlfriend and to get married almost every day. However, Lee does not have a set time schedule for marriage. He doesn't think marriage is a necessity in his life.
"Our generation has a different definition and need for marriage. For our parents' generation, marriage was something they had to do because they felt that they had a social responsibility to form a family and carry on the family line. So when they reached a certain age, they would get married, even if they were not in love with their spouse," Lee said.
"However, my generation gained a different set of ideals growing up. We do not see marriage as a responsibility related to age; we see it as a matter of personal feelings toward someone. We want to seek true love as a reason for marriage. If there is not true love, I would prefer not getting married," Lee said.
Last week, Life Times, a publication dedicated to understanding lifestyle changes and health, reported that marriage and fertility rates among people in their 20s and early 30s, have hit a record-breaking low around the world. The same trend hit China. According to the report, the marriage rate and fertility rate have also dropped dramatically in China.
According to the report, statistics from the Ministry of Civil Affairs showed that there are 200 million single men and women in China and more than 58 million people currently live alone. China also has a low fertility rate. According to the latest population census in 2010, on average every woman gives birth to 1.18 children. This is even lower than Singapore and Portugal, which are well-known for their low fertility rates.
Chen Yaya, a sociologist from Shanghai Academy of Social Science, said that it is because more young Chinese have changed their opinions toward marriage. They no longer think marriage is a necessity and they choose to base their marital decisions on feelings, rather than submitting to social pressure and the idea you must be married by a certain age.
According to Chen, young people focus more energy on their academic and professional careers and the pressure of living in a big city gives them less time and energy to think about marriage. She pointed out that there has been a conscious awakening among young Chinese that leads them to seek self-fulfillment in work and personal interest, rather than in marriage.
Single life is good
Lee said that when he was in school, many students like him devoted a lot of time and energy in relationships. But when they stepped into society, work, hobbies and friends take up most of their time.
"So, we don't really have much time left for relationships and marriage," said Lee, who works at a financial company in Beijing.
It is common for Lee to work overtime, sometimes until 3 am. Aside from work, Lee has a cat and dog, likes to go to the gym, play golf, cook and read.
Lee lived in the US for two years when he was in elementary school, and went to Australia when he was 18 to start university.
"Living abroad was the most important time in my life because that is when I formed my values. I believe living abroad gave me a higher sense of self-awareness than other Chinese who have not left the country."
Self-awareness means that Lee is more conscious of his own character, feelings, motives and desires. This allows him to be more independent and more aware of how he wants to live his life.
Paying more attention to personal feelings and the emotional bond two people share, he does not see marriage as a necessity or social responsibility.
Some people avoid marriage because of the restrictions that come along with it. Dave Qin, 27, who works at an accounting company in Beijing, also said that he does not have a set timeline for being married or in a long-term relationship.
