Qin invested seven years in a relationship. He said that it gave him an understanding of what marriage would feel like.
"Whether you are dating or married, eventually there is no love, only friendship and companionship," Qin said.
"Marriage and relationships have restrictions. Take my last relationship for example, she was always trying to control me; she gave me no time alone and would not let me have female friends. All the restrictions and responsibilities suffocated me," Qin said.
"I don't want these restrictions anymore. If two people love each other, they will stay together whether they are married or not. Restrictions kill love."
More than marriage
Not just men have less desire to get married; women now have more economic independence and can satisfy their own needs. According to Chen, more women are choosing to live with their partners or live alone, rather than get married because they no longer need marriage to grant a sense of stability and belonging in life.
When you can achieve economic independence, you can enjoy love without any restrictions, said Cassiel Xing, 24, a financial worker in Beijing.
According to Xing, men and women have become more equal, so women can seek their value and sense of recognition in many activities outside of marriage.
"Other people can't give you security and recognition, these values come from within. It depends on whether you can live independently, and whether you can satisfy your own needs both materially and mentally," Xing said.
"A career you like, hobbies that can enrich you and a social life made up of many different kinds of people, can all make life more interesting and worthwhile," she said.
Xing started her own clothing brand two years ago, and at the same time has a good job in the financial industry. She also bought an apartment for herself. All of this gave her a sense of security and recognition.
Yang Yang, 34, a lawyer in Beijing, said she is determined not to get married.
"I am already economically independent and can have a good life on my own. If I marry someone who makes less money than me, the quality of my life might be lowered," Yang said.
The rising divorce rate also made Yang lose hope for marriage.
She worries that if she gets married and it leads to a divorce, she will have to go through expensive legal matters. She said that in the situation of divorce, if the couple's community property is within 200,000 yuan ($29,966), the legal costs are around 50 yuan to 300 yuan, and if their community property surpasses 200,000 yuan, which is a middle class income in China, they would have to pay 0.5 percent of the extra community property as legal cost.
Yang also said that Chinese society still heavily discriminates divorced women, making it much harder for them to find another spouse.
Living life to the fullest
The fertility rate in China has dropped to a new low in recent years.
Chen said that it is because the child rearing and education costs in China have become very high. In addition, more women focus on their careers and personal interests, making them more reluctant to have kids.
Shi Yuan (pseudonym), a 25-year-old girl who works in a financial company in Beijing, who has been married for four years, said that she would not have kids although her husband and their parents are pressuring her to have one.
"Raising a kid will take so much of our time and energy. Some of my friends who have kids do not have any time to go out or enjoy themselves. Their career even suffered because they would put their children first. I don't want to be that person," Shi said.
Besides, Shi said she has seen so many kids who always get themselves into trouble or disturb other people in public places and their parents do not take a stand but continue to spoil them. This turns her off from wanting children; she does not want to raise a kid who acts like that.
Shi is also worried that there is a possibility that she and her husband might get a divorce someday, so she does not want her child to grow up in a single-parent household as she did.
Cai Zonghui, 31, a director of a television station in Beijing, also said that he and his wife decided they were not going to have children.
He said that attitudes toward family are changing and so are values for what people want in their lives.
"Today children are not the center of building a family. People want to better improve themselves and feel more personally fulfilled," Cai said.
"Without children, it is much easier to go back to school for further study, travel abroad or host parties for friends. I am just glad we have the freedom to choose how to live our lives."
