'Foreign' children left behind in a world of trade-offs

(Ecns.cn)--They are foreign citizens spending their childhood in China, and while they are in many ways enjoying the best in life, they often feel lonely without their parents. These are children born to Chinese families abroad, but left in the care of their grandparents back in China at a young age.

Guntou County in Fuzhou, Fujian Province is one area heavily populated with such "foreign" babies. According to the Globe magazine, Guntou has around 60,000 residents, and over 2,000 of them are the so called left-behind children, whose parents work abroad and are too busy to raise them.

Xiao Fang, chairwoman of the Guntou Returned Overseas Chinese Federation, confirmed for the Globe that many local residents have gone to over 30 foreign countries to work or study, and the majority, about 40,000 people, chose the U.S.

However, Xiao revealed, many of the busy parents can only find odd jobs abroad, and facing considerable pressure domestically and professionally, they are hard pressed to raise their children themselves.

"The children were usually sent to China as infants," said Xiao, "and their parents also frequently post U.S.-made milk powders to their offspring."

Primary statistics show that thousands of foreign-born children arrive in Guntou County every year, but parents do not abandon their welfare: "Total deposits in the local bank can come to over 1 billion yuan (US$158 million) every year, all most all of which is due to remittances from those working abroad," Xiao added.

The "foreign" kids are undoubtedly enjoying the good life, the Globe commented. Yu was returned to his grandparents when he was only three months old. His home in Guntou is "a world of toys," full of playthings that include cars and tanks, reported the Globe.

Now a three-year-old toddler, Yu has mastered games on his iPad, Yu's grandmother told the Globe proudly. "We don't know how to use the iPad yet, but Yu likes it very much; he usually uses it to talk to his parents via video chat."

Yu's mother Su Yi said they had no choice but to leave Yu with his grandparents. "My husband and I work more than 10 hours every day. Nobody is here to take care of him."

Then Su added, "But I talk to Yu almost every day and return to China every year; we are getting along pretty well."

Some parents elect to keep their children with them in the States, but those kids "tend to suffer from infantile autism, lack social responsiveness or show no interest in others," countered Su.

On the other hand, some long distance parents feel their decision has resulted in estrangement from their babies.

Thirty-two-year-old Ji Ping has been working in a Chinese restaurant in London for over six years. Yet speaking of her daughter, she can't help sobbing. "I haven't seen her for three years. I am busy every day, and can only talk to her via video chat or telephone once or twice every month. The worst is I am like a stranger to my daughter now. Once I called out her name when we were chatting online, but she just focused on her toys, not even pausing to glance at me."

In fact, not only the parents but also the grandparents are distressed about their little foreign national charges, pointed out the Globe.

The elders have a dilemma. They don't want to dote on the kids and ruin their future; nor do they want to be blamed by the parents for not treating their babies well, surmized the Globe.

"We can't bear to scold or smack our grandchildren when they make mistakes. Kids now are quite smart and have strong characters. They just wouldn't listen to us," Jiang Bao, 58, told the magazine.

A teacher at a local kindergarten, Yang Yanyu, feels the grandmas and grandpas are not quite up to date with modern educational methods, thus can't accept the new teaching methods such as "education through entertainment."

They often complain that the school has left students too much time to play and ask teachers to assign the kids more homework. Though schools try to air and counter their concerns via meetings, "the grandparents are quite reluctant to show up," said Yang.

Usually the left-behind children are taken back to the foreign countries where their parents are living by the age of five and before the children's visas expire to receive further education.

Lin Dan, Yang's colleague, told the Globe. According to Su Yi, her son will go to an elementary school in the U.S. and travel to China during summer vacations to study Chinese.

"We still hope the children will come back to China after living abroad for a while—otherwise, they would eventually forget us," said concerned grandmother Ni Xiuzhou.