Criminally trendy in Beijing

Beijing is supposedly the cultural capital of China. But based on the way people dress here, it will be a long time before its soft power spreads to Shanghai, Paris and Milan.

Fashion has been defined as things so ugly they need to be replaced in six months. Let's hope that is the case with these 10 trends.

No.10 Studs

Reason: Sadist or needs space?

Yes they are punk. But even on bags and bras?

You cannot comfortably cross your legs when wearing studded leggings, and must be extra careful not to scratch yourself.

Studs can help you get on a crowded bus or subway train without being mauled.

A pair of studded shoes or a backpack with prickly studs all over it can ensure you some personal space.

In many fashion stores, those products are labeled "trample-proof," "burglar-proof," or even "pervert-proof."

If harassed, you could just kick the offender in the groin at full strength with your studded shoes, or beat him up with your stylish handbag decorated with metal studs and crystal skeletons.

Tip: It's a good way to play hard to get and indicate you're a rose with thorns.

No.9: Glasses frames without lenses

Reason: To see or to be seen?

Some girls are wearing contact lenses with frameless glasses. You may think the frameless glasses make you look smart, but trust us, you are not fooling anyone.

We know you also take the elevator to use the Stairmaster at the gym.

Another possible reason is that frames make eyes look bigger and brighter.

Tip: If you wake up in the morning with dull eyes and puffy eyelids, and don't feel like putting on makeup, these frames could be useful to distract people's attention.

No.8: Ponytails on men

Reason: Metrosexual or samurai machismo?

The history of ponytails on men goes all the way back to the samurai of ancient Japan.

Their hair became a symbol of wealth, nobility and masculinity. Does that describe you? If not, that long hair may make you come off more like a Japanese schoolgirl. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Tip: Know kung fu if you have this style, to make it more credible. Or at least carry a sword. That way you can commit ritual suicide if you realize how foolish you look.

No.7: Body piercing

Reason: Pain fetish or fashion victim?

"Oh my god, does it hurt?" Seeing a person pierced all over his or her body, many people cannot help wondering this. And the thought makes some of them excited.

Tip: The metal decorations can be a kind of advertisement to find a romantic partner with the same special interests as yourself.

No.6: Shoulder pads

Reason: 1980s nostalgia or superhero fan?

Pads can make the shoulder lines appear neat and smooth. In the 1980s people were convinced that extended shoulders with hard lines raise a woman's social status in the work place.

Now it's also about trying to make a retro fashion statement.

Additionally, superheroes love shoulder pads, to look strong and to hold their capes.

Tip: If you lack confidence, putting on a jacket with big shoulders is quicker than building muscles at the gym or adopting good posture.

No.5: Oversized hip-hop clothing

Reason: Hide your big belly, or conceal things in your belt?

Oversized T-shirts, baggy pants, and even unusually large earrings or shoelaces are popular among many young people, especially those into the hip-pop subculture.

It's a good way to hide your body flab, or contraband goods.

Tip: This outfit can be a good way to sneak food or drinks into a movie theater or nightclub.

No.4: Ripped jeans

Reason: Annoy your elders, or pretend you actually can do physical labor?

Ripped jeans are supposed to show the individuality and confidence of a person, and their care-free and rebellious attitude.

Conservative parents may be shocked and ask, "Don't you have new clothes in your closet?"

But actually ripped jeans can be the most expensive. That makes sense, if you take all the hard work of hand-ripping them into account.

Tip: Save a fortune, and have your maid make you ripped jeans with just a pair of scissors.

No.3: Low-rise jeans

Reason: Make you look more womanly, or boyish?

Low-rise jeans, or low-cut pants, are intended to sit low on the hips. When a girl bends over, they show more skin than regular pants, which is usually good news to men.

Tip: Sometimes things are better left to the imagination.

No.2: See-through clothing

Reason: Cover up or show off?

Clothes were originally designed to cover up the body and keep warm. Just like glasses frames were originally designed to hold lenses.　　

Tip: See-through clothing does not disguise the fact your bra is padded, the fresh goods are past their use-before date, or that you are desperate.

No.1: Fur coat with bare legs

Reason: Keep warm, or raise men's temperature?

As the winter approaches, women on the streets are wearing fur jackets to keep warm, but with short skirts and thin, see-through panty hose or even bare legs. This confuses many people, who wonder, "Aren't they cold?"

Don't laugh. Men do something similar, when in the hot summer they wear business suits to look powerful.

Tip: Girl, you are either feeling cold or feeling hot. Just pick one!