Odyssey of the soul

Gao Binghan, 78, a Taiwanese lawyer, is filled with a sense of gratitude when he talks about the more than 100 veterans whose ashes he has brought back to the Chinese mainland over the decades.

"It was those 'old buddies' who held my hand and took me to Taiwan in 1949. Without them, I would not be here today," Taipei-based Gao told the Global Times in a telephone interview, adding that he was the youngest among his fellow soldiers, who were in their 20s at that time.

"Now it is my turn to show thanks to them. Bearing this gratitude in mind, I feel it is my duty to carry their ashes back home," said Gao.

The ashes are usually handed over to veterans' family members or relatives after they are contacted by Gao. For people whose relatives cannot be found, he usually scatters the ashes in a field of the village where the veterans were born. "My old buddy, now I take you home and you can rest in peace," is the mantra that Gao repeats every time he finds himself in this situation.

Gao's hometown is in Heze of Shandong Province, where he lived until he was 14.

After going to Taiwan, he continued his studies and later became a lawyer, while most of his comrades were illiterate. "I was elected as chairman for the fellowship association and I take responsibility for caring about them," said Gao.

Constant travel

It was in 1991 that Gao began to take the ashes back, and almost all were those of his friends from Shandong Province. About four years later, his story was broadcast in a CCTV report, and after that, people all over China turned to him for help to get the ashes of their family members or relatives repatriated.

After fleeing the mainland at the end of China's civil war, all the soldiers thought about was returning home. At first, they thought they would counterattack the mainland someday. But as time went by, they became increasingly disillusioned.

For some who were homesick, their minds were back in China, even though they themselves did not have a chance to return. One typical and tragic case was the first that Gao handled, and one that will stay in his memory his whole life.

The case was related to a man judged to be a "deserter" after failing to swim to the mainland. The deserter was sentenced to death, and had to be executed within a week, according to Taiwan law at that time.

"Shoot me as quickly as possible. It's the only way my soul can fly back home to see my mother," Gao recalled the soldier as saying before he was executed.

Apart from feeling guilty, there was nothing else Gao could do for the soldier, who was seized and forced into the Kuomintang army when he was buying medicine for his mother in the street.

Every year, Gao travels to the mainland during the Qingming festival to sweep his parents' tombs and also for Confucius Memorial Day in September. His job as a lawyer often gives him the opportunity to come back for meetings, making it possible for him to take back the ashes of deceased soldiers.

Different responses

People usually show gratitude to Gao for bringing back the ashes, and some veterans' relatives even kneel down to him out of respect. Lu Liping, 64, a Beijinger, is one of them. She is the daughter of veteran Wang Haiting, who left the mainland in 1948 when Lu was only a month old. Lu was surnamed after her mother.

Lu got to know Gao through a book, Returning Home. From the perspective of Taiwan veterans, the book tells the story of Gao Binghan, and shows veterans' feelings toward the mainland.

Lu first doubted whether such things really were possible, and was not sure whether she could get back her father's ashes, since she could not afford to fly to Taiwan to retrieve them.

It took her from April 2010 till the end of 2011 to go through all the necessary procedures. As for her father's files, what Lu remembers is not consistent with official records in the mainland, which are different from those officially documented in Taiwan.

"As for my experience, policies practiced both in the mainland and Taiwan are favorable, but it takes too long to go through every procedure, and there are many difficulties," she said.

Lu went to Heze in Shandong to get his father's ashes from Gao during the Qingming Festival this year.

However, not all relatives are willing to receive the ashes. "In my experience, veterans' children or nephews welcome the ashes, but grandchildren usually don't show any interest," said Gao.

Two jars of ashes still sit in Gao's house, and three in his office. The jars usually stay two to three weeks in his house after being taken from the cemetery, but some stay over a year or more.

The ashes of a soldier from Hengyang in Hunan Province have been in his house for over three years. "It takes a lot of time to reach the soldier's relatives," said Gao.

After reaching them in Hunan last year, Gao found his colleague's ashes were not wanted even by his closest relative, the grandson of the soldier's elder brother.

Finally, the soldier's adopted daughter in Taiwan changed her mind, and decided to take them

Making the connection

"Connections should be built before it is too late, when some veterans and their children are still alive," said Sun Chunlong to the Global Times, founder and director of the Shenzhen Longyue Charity Foundation, a body dedicated to helping veterans.

He said a platform will be built for people across the Straits looking for their relatives. The plan is currently under discussion.

During a trip to Xincheng township, Hualian county, Taiwan half a year ago, Sun found a cemetery where several hundred veterans were buried. The father of the head of Xincheng township is a veteran from the mainland.

The ashes of 264 veterans are located together in an ancestral temple. The township chief wants those ashes to be sent back and buried in their hometown.

"Helping veterans go home or bringing their ashes back shows the lives of individuals being respected," said Sun, adding that it also promotes people's understanding about that period of history.

"I cannot help but feel sad every time I watch news about veterans' ashes being sent back home for burial," wrote Peng Lizhong, deputy professor at the Graduate Institute of Development Studies, National Chengchi University in Taipei, to the Global Times in an e-mail interview.

Peng is not sure what the Taiwanese government's attitude is, but he believes such things won't be discouraged. Chinese people believe in the tradition of "fallen leaves returning to the roots." "But nowadays everything changes quickly, and many young people in Taiwan don't care about such things," wrote Peng.

Peng's view is echoed by Sun Chunlong. The situation is similar across the Straits because that history has passed, and young people don't have a connection to it, said Sun.

For people who have experienced this history, their feelings are complicated because of the barriers across the Straits.

Lu's father went back to the mainland and visited the place where Lu worked in 1991. "My father knew I was his daughter, but I didn't know he was my father," said Lu to the Global Times. Wang went back again four years later.

The year 1987 witnessed a great change for veterans in Taiwan. They took to the streets wearing jackets that carried slogans expressing their homesick feelings, such as "You forced me to be soldier, now send me home," which began a new movement.

The door of communication between the Straits was opened after Taiwan authorities changed their past policy of "No engagement, no negotiation, no compromise," according to China News Service.

Complicated feelings

"That time, even if I had known Wang was my father, I would not have dared call him father. My mother and I suffered a lot and we didn't want to get into trouble," said Lu, doubting that her experience could be understood by young people today.

Bringing veterans' ashes home helps break barriers between different parties across the Straits, and even within a family. Some veterans are not accepted even by their own children.

Because of their fathers, they could not go to college, join the army or the Party. For veterans, they feel guilty about the trouble caused to their families, said Sun.

Similar suffering can also be seen in Taiwan. History Reference, a semi-monthly journal, publishes articles on oral accounts by veterans' descendants in Taiwan.

Liu Yishan, 66, is one of them. He left the mainland with his parents at the age of 3 in June 1949.

Because of this, Liu's grandparents were persecuted in the mainland. Liu's father's father was beaten to death in 1952, and the body was found three days later. Where he is buried still remains unknown to this day. A similar fate befell Liu's mother's father, according to History Reference.

Most soldiers who fled to Taiwan stayed single. Married men didn't have time to bring their families, and single men were not allowed to get married because they had to be ready to counterattack the mainland, and their will to fight would have been lost if they got married.  In the end, most became too old to get married, according to the report.

Statistics show that around 1949, about a million people followed Kuomintang leader Chiang Kai-shek to Taiwan, of whom over 600,000 were soldiers from the mainland.

In a book about these veterans, Taiwanese author Tan Duan and Huang Luofei described the group as "people who help maintain social stability in Taiwan, but also soldiers at the bottom of the social ladder forgotten by Taiwanese society."

Peng sees what Gao does as an expression of goodwill. But when it comes to bridging the gap across the Straits, greater efforts need to be made.

"Young people should be encouraged to work in groups and go to each other's societies to be volunteers, and to help disadvantaged groups," wrote Peng, adding that such moves would greatly help to eliminate unnecessary misunderstanding.