Heroes worshipped Villains vilified

Hero of the week

Beijing Marathon superheroes

In case you missed it, our crime-free capital could easily have been mistaken for Gotham City on Sunday as an all-star cast from the Justice League turned out for the Beijing Marathon. Prior to the race, reports in Metro Beijing told of subway cellphone thefts, convenience store embezzlement and various other unlawful acts tarnishing the city's reputation.

Thankfully, the Beijing Marathon attracted a colorful array of crime fighters who ensured that, for at least one day in 2012, police could have a day off. Among the cast were Batman's accomplice Robin, the rake-wielding pig Zhubajie from classic Chinese novel Journey to the West and Spider-Man sporting an outfit that declared he was "defending the Diaoyu Islands."

If the race's African runners weren't scared of Beijing's toxic smog, they certainly were given a reason to run for their lives when faced with the sight of a motley crew of superheroes.

As for the Chinese runner who pranced around in a skirt and stockings with the characters "marry me" scrawled on his shirtless torso, we can only assume China's shengnan (leftover men) will continue resorting to similar extreme measures in the future.

Villain of the week

Taxi vandal and thief

Nobody in Beijing likes taxi drivers. They used to represent one of the most admired professions in the city, but that all changed when they decided it was necessary to hold tourists to ransom at the airport by charging overpriced fares. Don't even get us started on the recent 3-yuan surcharge they have slapped passengers with due to "rising fuel costs" or the torturous pingshu (storytelling) radio broadcasts in the local dialect they insist listening to.

A man surnamed Fan decided to take matters into his own hands by smashing windows and stealing possessions inside parked taxis earlier this year, Xicheng district court heard last Thursday.

Naturally, this column wanted to make "Furious Fan" hero of the week before realizing he has actually done more harm than good to the rest of us innocent souls. Now, taxi drivers have even more reason to hate us ordinary folk, thus even more reason to cheat us out of our hard earned yuan. Stick to taking heiche (illegal taxis), Beijingers; at least you know you'll be cheated upfront.