Cashing in on marriage

Even in today's ultra modern Shanghai, unmarried Chinese women over the age of 30 feel they are being left behind and that the chance of marriage and true love is all but over.

After 30 the tradition is that a woman in China should then give up her dreams of hoping that yuanfen, or fate, will deliver Prince Charming to her door. Yuanfen is a traditional concept that involves fate or serendipity and is often used in discussions of romance or relationships.

One Shanghai woman is taking yuanfen into her own hands and offering women a chance to make their dreams come true. At a price! Liang Yali, the founder of the Yali Marriage Quotient, a counseling company targeting single women, believes that good marriages need to be "customized" and are rarely the outcome of yuanfen.

"Whenever single Chinese women talk about future husbands, they like to 'let yuanfen decide when they will appear and who they are.' There is nothing wrong with this but yuanfen won't promise them a great marriage. In fact, it could put them in the hands of a devil and a horrible marriage," the 42-year-old self-styled life coach said.

Liang charges 2,800 yuan ($456.41) each day and up to 100,000 yuan for a personalized course which, she says, can help a single woman find a Mr Right in 90 days. She calls this "marriage customization."

Personal background

Liang wouldn't reveal exactly how the pricey counseling was conducted or what was involved, but said she first got to know the background, personality and expectations of her client and then helped her understand herself and what sort of men would be suitable for her.

She then trains the woman to raise her "marriage quotient," her MQ, a term she coined in 2009 to describe a woman's capability of finding and securing a good marriage, and tells her how to increase her personal value by branding and other techniques.

The company doesn't provide matchmaking services for clients, but she said about 60 percent of its clients have successfully found a husband. The company promises a refund if clients are unhappy.

"Many women have walked out of my office like brand-new people. They are more confident, more charismatic and more attractive, becoming the kind of women that men would die to marry. Men are naturally attracted to them," Liang said. A successful marriage, by her standards, is one that can open up a new perspective and show people broader horizons.

"It's like getting a tailor-made dress. Of course you can buy a dress in a shopping mall, but a tailor-made dress is an item of luxury and will last much longer in your wardrobe."

Liang said her own life story inspired her to come up with her concept. In 2006, she was 35, divorced with a 13-year-old daughter. She had just recovered from cancer therapy and she was desperate to fall in love again and remarry. A former employee with an investment company, she sat down and calculated her current marriage market value.

Past her prime

"In China, when a man is 20 years old, he wants a 20-year-old woman for his wife. When he's 50 and single, he still wants to marry a 20-year-old. There was little in the market for a woman like me." Her conclusion: it would be very difficult for her to find a Chinese husband.

As a divorcee with a child from a previous marriage, she was not only considered past her prime but the deep-rooted traditional prejudices of Chinese society had hugely reduced her value.

Her research didn't stop there. She went on to analyze what other possibilities there might be. What kind of men would desire a woman of her age, not caring if she was divorced or that she had a darker shade of skin (which many Chinese men do not appreciate). In the end, the answer to these questions was simple: foreigners.

She went on Internet dating sites aimed at foreign men in China. After several failures she met her new husband, Ken Davis, who was then working as a senior manager at a US firm in Shanghai. Three months later, they were married.

"I'm not encouraging women to find rich foreign husbands. What's important is that men know how to appreciate you," she stressed.

Liang's personal story became a big selling point, attracting many women who wanted a similar outcome. According to the company's promotional material, since its establishment in 2009, more than 100 single women who were above the ideal age for marriage in China, or, in the original wording "deserted by Chinese tradition," have successfully married men from some nine developed countries after her counseling.

A 26-year-old woman surnamed Xiong who is taking Liang's course said she had become more self-assured with the counseling.

"I used to be confident with my work, but not with men. Now I feel much better. I no longer think about what a man can give me, but what I can give him. The potential to bring happiness to others empowered me."