Batches of bachelors(2)

When couples talk about getting married nowadays, they mean preparing a house, a car and other "hardware". But they don't prepare the relationship itself, says Chen Xiuru, Chinese Society of Education marriage and family researcher.

Bachelor Zou Meng can't agree more. The 31-year-old general manager of a Beijing travel agency, who owns an apartment, a BMW and a Lexus, has become disheartened with arranged dates. He says most women he meets are in their late 20s and want to get married right away.

But he doesn't believe a wedding should be rushed.

"I think love needs to pass the test of time," he says. "It involves mutual understanding and making adjustments."

Successful men like Zou have also become more cautious about tying the knot, having seen how divorces - synonymous with divisions of property - are increasing.

Leftover women or an unappreciated feast?

The truth is out there somewhere

The national divorce rate rose by some 40 percent between 2008 and 2012, according to the Ministry of Civil Affairs. In 2012 - the year for which latest figures are available - 3 million couples dissolved their unions.

And with modernization Chinese men no longer need wives to fulfil certain emotional and physical needs, researchers say.

They can flirt, have one-night stands, juggle different girlfriends, live with a woman before marriage or just have close female friends. Behavior that would have generated scandal in a previous age is, today, everyday.

Most of all, since they have the freedom to choose their mates, some men would rather become "leftover" than compromise on their visions of the ideal woman.

"Meeting that person is destiny," Lu, the tech company account manager, says.

For now, he has signed up with Coucou8, a matchmaking company that organizes activities to widen its members' friend circles. But if destiny doesn't present him with the right woman in this life, Lu says he doesn't mind staying single.

Xing Yi and Guo Xin contributed to this story.