Preventing child sex abuse(2)

Common misunderstandings

According to Fang Gang, a sex education expert, the main reason for cases of child sexual abuse going unreported is a lack of understanding by the child that something inappropriate has taken place.

In a report on people.com.cn, Fang described an incident where a teacher had fondled a young girl's breasts. The girl did not stop the teacher, because she did not know that he was doing something that was unacceptable.

"In Western countries, children are told very early on which parts of their body are taboo for other people to touch," said Fang. "But in China, such conversations are avoided for fear of shame."

It is not just children who lack an awareness of acts that might be considered inappropriate, but also parents. Yang Guang (pseudonym), who is a mother to two young girls, wrote on her Sina blog about an experience that made her reconsider what was and what wasn't acceptable conduct by strangers towards her children.

Yang was waiting for a bus with her two girls and their grandmother when an elderly man came over and grabbed one of her daughters by the hand, as a gesture of affection. Yang's mother immediately pulled her granddaughter away and scolded the man. At the time, Yang wrote, she felt sorry for the old man. But after reflecting on the incident, she now thinks her mother was right.

"A stranger shouldn't be allowed to touch my daughter," wrote Yang.

"If he hadn't been stopped, my daughter may think that being touched by strangers is normal and acceptable," Yang wrote. "[In China], some parents even scold their children for being afraid of strangers, and rejecting their 'favors.' This is not only dismissive of a child's feelings, but undermines their understanding that there are boundaries between children and strangers."

"Children should be taught to be vigilant against strangers," wrote Yang.

According to Li, there are several common misunderstandings about child sexual assault.

One misunderstanding is that only girls need to be protected against sexual abuse. Another is that children are most at risk from sexual abuse by strangers. In fact, Li said, between 70 and 80 percent of sexual abuse cases against children are committed by people who are acquainted with the child, friends of the family, or even family members themselves. Li said that there were even cases where girls had been molested or raped by their own fathers.

Promoting awareness

American parenting magazine Parents has published a guide for caregivers on how to prevent child sexual assault.

The guide recommended that parents with children aged between 2 and 8 should make sure their kids are already familiar with the names of the genitals of both sexes, and the differences between them. Parents should use the proper terms for vagina and penis, rather than using euphemisms. It is crucial that children know what and where their private parts are, and to make clear that no one else can touch them.

If anyone touches or speaks to them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, they should tell someone they trust straight away.

When children are 9 and older, parents should have a longer conversation with their child. The child should know that it is not their fault if they are sexually assaulted, and that if they are, it is important for them to address the issue as soon as possible.

The magazine also suggested that children's Internet usage should be monitored. It should be stressed to children that personal information should not be given to strangers online.

Li suggested in a recent China Youth Daily report that parents must be vigilant about possible child sexual abuse from the time a child is born.

Signs of abuse

A report that appeared on internet portal netease.com suggested ways for parents and caregivers to identify signs that their child may have been sexually abused, from physical and behavioral cues.

Physical signs may include redness, swelling, bite marks or scratch marks around the genital area, bottom or breasts. Behavioral cues include a child suddenly becoming sullen or silent, restlessness and anxiety, and difficulty falling asleep. Parents should be on high alert if their child complains of anyone getting too close to them.