The divorce dilemma

A huge increase in couples splitting up but some are battling the trend

Last year Shanghai saw a 37.4 percent jump in the number of uncontested divorces year-to-year, according to the Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau. This left the national increase of 12.8 percent, as reported by the Ministry of Civil Affairs, far behind.

In China, a couple can apply for an uncontested divorce at a marriage registry attached to one of the couple's hukou (permanent household registration). Marriage registries are run by local civil affairs bureaus.

Of the 60,825 couples who were divorced at Shanghai's marriage registries last year, 60,408 were local people and 417 involved residents of Hong Kong, Macao or Taiwan, or foreigners.

To get a divorce, a couple has to complete and submit a "Divorce Application" form alongside proofs of identity and the original marriage certificates. In the form they have to state that they have reached an agreement about property and child custody and they have to say why they want to end the marriage.

The Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau reported that most divorcing couples list the reasons as "unhappy relationship" (44.23 percent), "irretrievable breakdown" (26.80 percent) and "incompatibility" (24.44 percent). Other reasons listed have included "family conflicts," "long-distance marriages," "a third person," "sexual incompatibility," and "criminal convictions."

After the applications are submitted marriage registrars ask the couple a series of questions, and confirm that they have been legally married in the first place, that they understand the significance of the application, that they are both willing to divorce, and that they have agreed on an appropriate division of property and issues with children.

Once approved, the registrars record the divorce, cancel the marriage certificate and issue out a divorce certificate. People are considered officially divorced when they receive the certificate.

Immediate confirmation

Under earlier marriage laws which were introduced in 1994 and rewritten in 2003, the registries had to send out divorce certificates within a month of the applications being received. The new regulations, however, stipulate that divorce certificates have to be provided immediately.

Zhang Zhiping is the head of Songjiang district's marriage registry. He said that in the past during the one-month waiting period, about one third of the applicants would decide not to separate and withdrew their divorce applications before their certificates were delivered.

The new regulations also simplify the divorce process by no longer asking applicants to provide letters from their employers, which in the old days were essential but made many couples think twice about divorce because it meant their private lives would be revealed to other people.

Shortly after the new regulations were introduced, a government-funded marriage guidance program was established to "reduce the percentage of impulse divorces and build a harmonious society," according to Zhou Jixiang, the then head of the municipal marriage registry.

In 2004, Putuo district was the first to set up a "divorce intervention office" at its marriage registry. In 2007, several other districts including Pudong New Area and Songjiang opened similar offices. Today, there are 11 of these throughout the city. According to the Xinmin Evening News, each has an annual budget of 60,000 yuan ($9,772) provided by the district civil affairs bureau.

The marriage guidance counselors at these offices are professional registered psychologists. Songjiang district's intervention office, for example, employs psychologists registered with the Songjiang District Psychological Association. The marriage registries now tell all couples applying for a divorce to visit an intervention office first.

Acting on impulse

Wang Meiping is a counselor and said that, despite that almost all the couples she sees claimed they were determined to have a divorce, a large number were merely acting on impulse. As a counselor her job was to help the couples calm down, analyze the problems and see if they could try again.

Many of the couples Wang has seen are young and some are even newlyweds. She said their arguments had usually escalated from daily, trivial conflicts about wedding planning (in China couples usually have the formal wedding months or longer after their marriages are officially registered), home renovations or children.

Wang said that a common problem in cases was parents interfering with the lives of the couple - they take sides with their own children and insist that they have the final say in disputes. She suggested older people should limit their involvement in the marriages of their children.

Wang and her colleagues attend the offices on Tuesdays and Fridays and they have made a difference. Over the past few years, Wang and fellow counselors have seen about 600 couples annually and some 450 did not proceed with a divorce after counseling.