Relocated parents face hard lessons(3)

LONELINESS AND THE LANGUAGE BARRIER

Few people find it easy to acclimatize to life in another country, but middle-age parents who accompany their children overseas find it especially difficult.

Beijing resident Wu Ping, who has spent more than a year in the United States with her 15-year-old son, said displaced parents usually encounter two main problems. "One is the language barrier, and the other is the loneliness engendered by long-term separation from families back home," the 46-year-old said.

Wu's words rang true to Tang Xiaobing, who accompanied her 14-year-old son to the US in 2013.

The history graduate speaks little English, so she relied on her younger sister, who lives in the US, to communicate with the school about her son's performance.

"I tried to learn the language by listening to tapes, but I made little progress. My poor English kept me from making friends with foreign people, and my only friends were the owner of a Chinese restaurant in town and his family," said Tang, who has now returned to China.

Wu's proficiency in English has saved her a lot of trouble, but she has other concerns. "It's extremely lonely living far from home," she said. "I feel sorry for my husband, who works and lives alone at home in China. He needs my company and care."

She's also concerned that a long separation from his father could cause problems for their son. "Young boys need a lot of love, guidance, and support from their fathers. I'm worried that a long-term separation may result in my son becoming estranged from his father," she said.

PAINTING A BRIGHTER FUTURE?

Tang Xiaobing never imagined that one day she would develop a talent for painting and win praise for her art.

Since giving birth in 2000, Tang's daily routine of housework and looking after her husband and son left little time for any other activities.

However, a yearlong stay in the United States brought the 45-year-old Beijinger into contact with the world of stone painting, and she's never looked back.

In June 2013, Tang began living on her own in Connecticut, while her son studied at a boarding school in the state. To alleviate homesickness and loneliness, the history graduate and sports fan often took walks along a nearby river, where the paths were littered with beautiful, flat stones no bigger than her palm. She decided to decorate the stones with watercolors and oil paint as a way of passing the time.

Tang says her work either expresses the affection between parents and children, or her own longing for home and family. A few paintings, featuring flora and fauna, reflect the beauty of the natural world.

Tang's work attracted the attention of art professionals, which led to her being interviewed by a Chinese art magazine, which also published photos of her work.

At a friend's suggestion, she opened an online shop for her artwork. "Many parents like the animals I paint and want to buy them for their children," she said. Each 12-stone set of paintings depicting animals sells for about 1,000 yuan ($163).

There's one painting she won't sell, though: It shows a woman and a boy sitting side by side on the grass, watching the stars in the night sky. The inspiration came from Tang's memories of stargazing with her son. "We used to watch the stars together years ago when my son was very young, just as the painting shows," she said.

Now Tang is back in China and she desperately misses her son. "Parents should treasure every moment they can spend with their children," she said.