Should you reveal your office romance?

Many companies put restrictions on office romances, but for those that don't, couples may still be cautious about making their relationship public. Photo: Li Hao/GT

When 27-year-old Daisy Liu, who works at a foreign company in Beijing, heard that employees at a company in Xiamen, Fujian Province could get a 10,000 yuan ($1,600) reward if they coupled up, she thought, "they are lucky to be at a company that supports office romance."

A week after the Xiamen company launched the reward, five couples having secret affairs came forward, the Xiamen Evening News reported on January 31.

"I am also very lucky to be working at a company that encourages office romance," Liu said. "You know that when your secret love is out in the open, you can breathe a little easier."

Liu said she fell in love with her husband in December 2011, after a singles party organized by her company.

"Colleagues and friends know about our relationship because they see us together sometimes, and we introduce ourselves as a couple at colleagues' parties," Liu said.

But not all employees have such luck. A survey on office romance by Chinese dating website Shijijiayuan in 2013, published on huanqiu.com, revealed that while Guangdong Province, Shanghai and Beijing are the top three regions for office romances, one third of the employers surveyed have restrictions on office romances, among which 10 percent have a complete ban in their company guidelines.

Sophie Lin (pseudonym), 28, is very cautious about making her own office romance public for fear that it could influence her career. Lin works as a service manager at an IT company in Beijing and she began dating her boyfriend, a product manager at her company, last April.

Lin said she only let a few of her colleagues whom she has a good relationship with know she is dating a colleague. Because the startup where Lin works does not clearly encourage or oppose office romance, she said she has to play it low key.

"Maybe my leader has already found out about my office romance from other colleagues, but she hasn't said anything about it to me," Lin said.

It's not that Lin thinks that an office romance is unprofessional. She said she is wary of an unclear company policy.

According to relationship consultant Shao Tong, Lin's caution is one that can impact the healthiness of not just her career, but her own relationship.

"The most crucial thing is to keep your job," Shao said. "If your employers do not encourage an office romance, you either have to leave that company or hide it. But you shouldn't hide it for too long because you will feel a sense of insecurity, which will hurt your relationship."

Shao said it's best to see where a relationship is going before a couple makes it public or it could be a very embarrassing situation should the couple break up. If marriage is in the works, negotiating with the company is usually necessary. This will help both parties find solutions for concerns about working with a romantic partner, such as moving one person in the relationship to a different department.

Lin said when she and her boyfriend get married she plans to let her boss know about their relationship if they both plan on staying at the company.

If Lin has the cards stacked in her favor, she may find herself in a more relaxed situation, like the one Liu is facing at the moment. Liu said once her relationship was out in the open, little changed for both her partner and her career.

"In an atmosphere where office romance is encouraged, there are a lot of couples like us," Liu said. "Besides, my husband and I have few interactions at work because we come from different departments. It doesn't influence our work."