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Bigger weddings lead to happier marriages

2014-08-25 17:27 China Daily Web Editor: Yao Lan
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Bigger weddings lead to happier marriages

The stress of organising a big wedding can leave many couples at breaking point, as they battle to coordinate a celebration on a scale which would tax even professional event planners.

But couples wrestling with 150-seat table plans should take heart, for new research suggests that bigger weddings predict more successful marriages.

A study by the University of Virginia in the US, found that couples who had larger ceremonies had higher-quality marriages.

Although cynics may argue that people who can afford an opulent wedding are likely to be financially secure, and therefore happier, the researchers claim that the correlation remains even when controlling for wealth.

They believe that marrying in front of a large number of people demonstrates greater commitment to the union while also discouraging divorce.

"There is some reason to believe that having more witnesses at a wedding may actually strengthen marital quality," said lead author Dr Galena Rhoades.

"We try to keep our present attitudes and behaviours in line with our past conduct. The desire for consistency is likely enhanced by public expressions of intention.

"Weddings may foster support for the new marriage from within a couple's network of friends and family. Those who hold a formal wedding are likely to have stronger social networks in the first place."

The report is part of the ongoing National Marriage Project in the US which has been studying what makes marriages work since 1997.

The survey of 418 people found that only 30 percent of couples who had 50 or fewer guests at the wedding had highly-successful marriages. In contrast, nearly half (47 percent) of couples who had 150 guests or more had strong unions.

National Marriage Project director Brad Wilcox added: "Couples with larger networks of friends and family may have more help, and encouragement, in navigating the challenges of married life."

The research also discovered that couples who had fewer partners before marriage were happier and more content.

Having several relationships before getting married may lead couples to compare their current partners with former lovers, the authors warn.

"We generally think that having more experience is better. If you were hiring an architect, for example, you would want to hire an architect with more, not less, experience to build your house," said Dr Rhoades.

"But what we find for relationships is just the opposite. Having more experience was related to having a less happy marriage.

"People who had been married before; people who had lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend before and those who had more sexual partners before marriage were each associated with having lower marital quality.

"Having more relationship experience may lead to a greater sense of what the alternatives are. If you have a greater sense of other options it may be harder to invest in, or commit to a marriage."

The researchers call it the 'Vegas Fallacy' – not everything that happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, they warn.

"The past does not always stay in the past," added Dr Rhoades.

Recent figures from the Office for National Statistics show that marriage in Britain is stronger than it has been for a generation.

The divorce rate in England and Wales is currently almost 20 percent lower than it was a decade ago.

The trend towards more stable marriages is being driven by younger people, with the divorce rates falling in all age groups up to 50 for men and 45 for women.

By contrast so-called "silver splitter" separations continue to surge, with the number of people over 60 heading to the divorce courts up three percent in a single year and 45 percent in a decade.

Adultery as a cause for divorce has also dropped to an all-time low, accounting for just 14 percent of dissolutions granted to wives in 2012. More than half of wives filing for divorce now cite their husband's " unreasonable behaviour".

The overall divorce rate in England and Wales now stands at 10.8 for every 1,000 married people, a fifth lower than its level in 2002.

However an estimated 42 percent of marriages will still end in divorce.

研究:婚礼越盛大 婚姻越幸福

筹划一场盛大的婚礼的压力之大,可使众多爱侣变为冤家怨偶。他们为这场盛典竭力协调、博弈,即便是职业婚礼策划人也会备受煎熬。

不过那些为大办婚宴而闹腾的未婚夫妻们也不要灰心,最新研究显示:婚礼越盛大,日后婚姻越幸福。

美国弗吉尼亚大学(University of Virginia)研究发现,婚礼仪式隆重的夫妻,其婚姻质量更高。

虽然有些愤世嫉俗的人会说,那些有能力担负奢华婚礼的夫妻基本经济条件无忧,所以日子自然过得愉悦。不过研究人员认为,即便考虑到经济问题,婚礼与幸福二者的联系依然存在。

他们认为,在大批来宾环绕下结婚可说明夫妻二人对婚姻强烈责任感和热忱之心,还可减少离婚的念头。

“有理由相信,由更多人见证的婚礼可以巩固婚姻。”研究主要发起人伽兰那•罗德斯(Galena Rhoades)博士说。

“我们有不改本心的愿望,公众的关注会加强这种对一致性的渴望。

“婚礼使夫妻得到双方亲友对新婚的祝福,而那些郑重其事举办婚礼的夫妻大多都拥有较牢固的社交网络。”

这个报告来源于美国正在进行的“国家婚姻项目”(National Marriage Project),该项目从1977年便致力于研究婚姻幸福的秘密。

从对418人的调查发现,婚礼宾客少于50人的夫妻中,只有30%婚姻美满。与之相反,婚礼宾客多于150人的夫妻中,近一半(47%)都是伉俪情深。

“国家婚姻项目”负责人布拉德•威尔考克斯(Brad Wilcox)补充说道:“拥有较大亲友关系网的夫妻在面对婚姻生活的挑战时,可以得到更多帮助和鼓励,为婚姻保驾护航。”

这项研究还发现,结婚之前恋爱次数较少的夫妻更幸福也更满足。

婚前情史丰富的人容易拿现在伴侣和之前的恋人相比,研究发起人警告道。

“我们一般都认为经验丰富点好。比如说如果你要请一个建筑师帮你造房子,你总会希望他是个中老手,而不是个新入行的菜鸟。”罗德斯博士说道。

“但是在婚姻关系中却正相反。情史丰富往往与婚姻不幸相关联。”

“结过婚的、和恋人同居过的、婚前有好几个性伴侣的,其婚后生活都较不如意。

“恋爱经验丰富的人更懂得给自己留回旋的余地,他们总能意识到还有别的选择,因此更难全心投资,或说投入婚姻。”

他们警告道,这是研究人员口中的“拉斯维加斯谬论”(Vegas Fallacy)——不是所有发生在拉斯维加斯的事都会留在拉斯维加斯。

“过去的事情总会对现在有一定影响。”罗德斯博士补充道。

英国国家统计署(Office for National Statistics)的最新数据显示,英国人的婚姻现状比上一代人要稳固。

现在英格兰和威尔士的离婚率比十年前低近乎20%。

青年一代是稳固婚姻浪潮的主力军,如今50岁以下男人和45岁以下女人的离婚率都已下降。

与之相反的是所谓“银发一族”的离婚率持续高涨。为离婚上法庭的60岁以上老人每年以3%增长,十年内已增长45%。

因婚外情离婚的降到史上最低,2012年只有14%的妻子的离婚申请通过。现在超过一半的妻子因丈夫“不合理的行为”而提出离婚诉讼。

如今英格兰和威尔士的总体离婚率约1.08%,比2002年时下降了20%。然而估计仍会有42%的夫妻以离婚告终。

 

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